Funny Sayings About Hating the Holidays
Feeling the Christmas in the air? We are always excited about December and I can't blame you for that because the Christmas holiday just has its way of bringing people closer together. Prepare yourself for a Christmas party, endless gatherings, and buffets and while you are at it, have a look at our holiday jokes so you are ready to throw some when you need it.
Spread happiness and make your loved ones feel extra special by making them smile. Seeing them smile and grin removes all the stress and bad vibes they have. These best holiday jokes will surely make the Christmas spirit felt. These jokes are funny even the elderly laugh about it! Share these funny Christmas jokes with everyone. You know what they say, "Laughter is the best medicine!" so you better start laughing!
Laugh more with funny holiday jokes for a good laugh and our funny Christmas jokes to keep you laughing all season.
Funny Holiday Jokes and Riddles
Trying to find the best riddles and jokes about holidays? Don't worry we got your back! Here are some of the best holiday riddles and jokes we got that will make you laugh out loud! Share this with your friends and have a funny moment.
Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?
They drop all their needles.
What's a monkey's favorite Christmas carol?
Jungle bells!
Why was the Grinch such a great gardener?
He has a green thumb.
What do you call a greedy elf?
Elfish!
What is a parent's favorite Christmas carol?
Silent Night
What's a sheep's favorite Christmas song?
Fleece Navidad
How does a snowman get to school?
By-icicle
What type of cars do elves drive?
Toy-otas
What did the car say to the dreidel?
Want to go for a spin?
What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs?
Candy canes
What do elves post on Facebook?
Elf-ies!
Where does Santa keep his money?
In a snowbank
Where do elves go to vote?
The North Poll
Which reindeer likes to clean?
Comet
How is the regular alphabet different from the Christmas alphabet?
No – el.
How does the snow globe feel this year?
A little shaken!
When does New Year's Day come before Christmas day?
Every year
What's the difference between Hanukkah and a dragon?
One lasts for eight nights and one sometimes ate knights.
Holiday Jokes for Work
Feeling exhausted at work? Take a bread and check out these holiday jokes for work. Crack a joke to your co-workers and turn a boring working atmosphere into a fun one! After all, everybody needs some funny holiday puns and jokes.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
What do you call a blind reindeer?
I have no eye deer.
Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soot's him.
What's the difference between Santa and a knight?
One slays the dragon, the other drags the sleigh.
Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed to be trimmed!
What is Santa Claus' laundry detergent of choice?
Yule-Tide.
Why was Theresa May sacked as Nativity Manager?
She couldn't run a stable government!
How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles immaculate?
He uses Comet.
Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose!
Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
They're into all the wrapping.
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can 'ho ho ho'!
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing.
It was on the house!
What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum, you just can't beat it!
How do you help someone who's lost their Christmas spirit?
Nurse them back to elf.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
"It's Christmas, Eve!"
Short Holiday Jokes for Seniors
Santa Claus is coming to town! Find out these holiday funny jokes for elders. We guarantee you that your grandparents are going to love it! What are you waiting for? Scroll through our collection and add these to your holiday humor.
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claus-trophobia!
What's the Grinch's least favorite band?
The Who!
What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
He got 25 days!
Why did grandpa put wheels on her rocking chair?
He wanted to rock and roll!
How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?
He has hooked on trees his whole life.
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had very low elf esteem.
What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?
Hits a gnome and runs.
What do fish sing during the holidays?
Christmas corals.
Why is everyone so thirsty at the north pole?
There's o well, no well!
Why do Grandpas smile all the time?
Because they can't hear a word you're saying!
What did Santa do when he went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker!
What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.
Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll!
When is your grandpas' bedtime?
Three hours after she falls asleep on the couch.
Why did Frosty ask for a divorce?
His wife was a total flake.
Why do grandpas count pennies?
They are the only ones who have the time.
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!
What's the worst part about being grandpa?
You have to sleep with grandma.
Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much?
Because every single buck is dear to him!
What goes "Oh, Oh, Oh"?
Santa walking backwards!
When do you know your grandfather is old enough to retire?
Instead of lying about her age, she starts bragging about it!
Laugh more: Funny Retirement Jokes That Will Make You Laugh
Holiday Food Puns
Are you hoping to find some holiday puns for Christmas? We got it for you! Tell these to your loved ones while having a meal at your Christmas parties. Find the right puns below to make your holiday a memorable one!
My New Year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my glass-half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
Laugh more: Funny Vodka Jokes
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted flakes
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Iceburgers
Why do we put candles on top of a cupcake?
Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can't hear you!
What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
Santa Claus rolling down a hill.
What's Santa's favorite snack food?
Crisp Pringles.
What is a Christmas tree's favorite candy?
Ornamints.
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsilitis!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!
We whisk you a merry Christmas.
Corny Holiday Jokes for Lovers
Christmas is more fun with these corny holiday jokes for lovers. Make sure to tell these jokes to your partner and have a hilarious moment together. Check it out now and have a good time while reading these happy holidays jokes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
He sold his soul to Santa.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Interrupting Santa.
Inter–
Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
What do a train set and boobs have in common?
They were both made for kids but dads can't help playing with them.
What do three ho's get you?
One very jolly Santa.
What's the difference between a Christmas tree and a man?
A Christmas tree will stay up for 12 nights, has cute balls and looks good with the lights on.
Is your name Jingle Bells?
Cause you look ready to go all the way.
Have you heard about Adolph, the brown-nosed reindeer?
He can run as fast as Rudolph, he just can't stop as fast.
Why did Santa divorce Mrs. Claus?
He refused to let go of all those irritating ho's.
Why are Christmas trees better than men?
Even the small ones give satisfaction.
Are you Christmas?
'Cause I wanna merry you!
You know, that's not a candy cane in my pocket…
I'm just THAT happy to see you.
Summary
There you have it, the best holiday jokes in town! Make sure to celebrate the happiest Christmas with these jokes to share with your family around the Christmas tree. Fill your hearts with joy and laughter while having a good time with your loved ones!
Got your own favorite Christmas jokes? Throw them into the comments.
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Source: https://jokesquotesfactory.com/funny-holiday-jokes/
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